Here Comes the Sun
by lyricaLVirtue
Summary: I want his genuine love, and affection so bad. His hands stay intertwined with mine in the air and I soon forget Sadie’s warning expression." Something happened that left them all so distant. Nothing would be the same without her anyway, so why try. R
1. I Want You

Chapter 1: I Want You

**Chapter 1: I Want You**

_January 14, 1974_

Jude pushes the door open, a smile across his face as he walks towards me. I laugh, not even knowing why. This is what he does to me; he makes me crazy, it's as simple as that. I've only know him for a few months now, but ever since he spoke those first words to me, with his unusual Liverpool accent, I just can't stop. I can't stop laughing, I can't stop smiling, I can't stop WRITING! That's an advantage to our relationship; he inspires me and I write like a psychotic.

But Jude has never thought of me romantically. I can see in his eyes, there is somebody else; somebody that he loves. He's only mentioned her briefly. I can't even remember her name. He seems distraught every time we get close to the subject of romance.

I'd get him to read my novel, but it pains him to read stories of love. I don't know why. Perhaps the girl he thinks about every second doesn't love him back. What a fool that girl must be. Jude is everything anybody could wish for. His sleek dark brown hair, framing his face with light curls at the ends and clean cut face accompanied by that awkwardly adorable smile is impossible to resist.

We met at a ballet. Yes, I was—well, I still am--a dancer. It was nearly a year ago, during Fall. It was one of our last rehearsals before the show, and he had come in to ask the director a few questions. At the moment, I hadn't any idea why he would be at the theater, but what happened was that Jude was drawing the ballet poster. As he showed his clever art to the director, his eyes had widened. It was beautiful, except there was a blank spot in the middle.

I found out later that a dancer was supposed to be drawn in the place. I, being one of the main characters, was assigned to pose, since I was close-to-perfect with the dance. I have to admit, I was intimidated by him. He seemed so intelligent, and nonchalant. But underneath all that, when he let down his guard, he was one of the most amiable men I had ever met. He drew with precision and concentration.

His eyes were beautiful when he was focused on his art. I don't know how to describe it, but they just were. He doesn't know that I actually thought him to be attractive, but I did. I don't even think he knows it now, and I don't think he ever will. I frown as I think about this.

"You alright?" He asks in the accent that I've grown to love. He bends down to my level and tries to catch my eye and I am soon waved back into reality. A smile sweeps my face again, but this time it serves as a mask, to hide my emotions.

"Yeah. I'm fine." I respond.

"Well, I brought the newspaper after I found this wonderful review about last weeks performance. _Winter_ got a four-star rating." Jude exclaims. Now my smile becomes real. I had looked forward to this for months. _Winter_ was one of the hardest musicals/ballet I had ever participated in. I had a venerable voice, nothing fantastic, but acceptable nonetheless. I had anticipated three stars at the most, but four! That was incredible. I flipped through the pages hurriedly, but before I found it he took the paper and began reading it himself.

" 'The young Miss Farlo gave an outstanding performance, standing out amongst the eyes of the onlookers. There was never a predictable moment with her acting, voice, or dancing skills. At her presence, our eyes grew wide with observation and curiosity. She made smooth, marvelous movements, and her voice was clearly heard and intelligible. Farlo was an excellent addition to the _Winter _cast.'" Jude looks up from the paper in order to read my reaction. I am completely ecstatic. "Congratulations!" he yells.

"Thank you." Before I know it, tears stream down my face. I think they are joyful tears. But I don't quite know. I start to think about it and realize that I'm not crying because I did great in _Winter_, but because I can never fully have Jude. He will never notice me the way I want him to. He looks uncomfortable and concerned as he moves over to hold me.

"Hey, don't cry." He whispers. "You were amazing," he adds. I wish he really meant those words. I wish he really thought I was amazing, and wonderful, and outstandingly beautiful. "Come on, Anna." Jude says.

I nod into his shirt, breathing in his calming scent. Now I laugh in order to hide myself again. "Thanks, Jude."

"No problem."

_January 16, 1974_

Jude invited me to a concert this morning. He had front row seats to Sadie's concert. I had liked Sadie's music but now that it involved Jude, I liked it even more. He had told me a while ago, he had drawn the logo for Sadie's record company and I had obviously congratulated him, but there was a hint of sadness in his words. I didn't ask him why.

I can't help but to think that maybe he asked me so late because someone backed out and I was his last resort. Why else would he ask me this late? Jude is just a friend, and I have to understand that. He has somebody else. Why do I have to feel like this? It's not fair!

My phone rings as I pull a shirt over my head. I take my time walking to the phone, knowing that it can't be too important. "Hello?"

"Anna? It's Mark." My face is very dark and cold now. I do not need a call from Mark of all people this morning. "Are you still there?" He asks, but he knows I'm listening so I don't respond. "I was wondering if maybe you wanted to come out with me tonight."

"I can't. I have plans with somebody else." It felt so good to say those words to him. The nerve he must have to call me and invite me out. Ridiculous! "Sorry, Mark. Maybe another time." As if. There will never be another time as far as I'm concerned.

"But Anna-" I hung up smiling to myself deviously. I don't understand what Mark wants from me. He caused me so much pain, and he knows it, yet he still tries to persuade me into dating him again. Honestly, what is wrong with him? I'm so disturbed by him that I refuse to think about it any longer and turn the radio on. The Beatles music invades my room. Their music is complete and total relaxation and an occasional invoking of rebellious thoughts.

I lay in my bed just thinking. I have too much pride to tell who about, but I'm sure anybody could guess. I am so desperate, I hate it! I just want to yell at him, 'Look at me! I care about you. I love you!' But of course, that would just scare him off and that's the last thing I want to do. Why can't he just see me? I mean really see me. I shove a pillow on my face and groan.

_Later that evening…_

It is colder than usual outside and I hug my coat to my body. Jude puts a comforting and warm arm around me and I wish I could stay here forever. In this very moment. But then again, at this moment he is oblivious to my feelings. Maybe some other time then.

I am excited to go to the concert especially since Jude is coming with me. This isn't the first time we've done something together. After all, he is one of my best friends, we do almost everything together.

After he drew me for the poster we began to talk and discovered how alike we are. But we do have our disagreements, but I like our disagreements because that's what keeps our relationship interesting. So that night, after finishing the drawing, he asked me if I wanted to go out for coffee and we did. We stayed up almost all night just talking. These are the moments that I love. I'm just with him, talking, and no physical contact needs to be made for me to want him the way I do.

"This is going to be fun." He says to me. He is so unaware of his surroundings. I hadn't noticed it before, but he was absentmindedly twisting a piece of my chocolate brown hair in his finger. I didn't mind it at all.

"I know." I reply, still lost in thought.

The concert hall is crowded with people. Everybody collides with everybody. There is hardly any space to move. I feel that if I breathe I'll hurt someone. Jude holds my hand as we push through the crowd towards our seats. Again, he only does this to make sure that I don't get lost, but the touch of his hand is overwhelming.

"This way," he manages to yell back at me. I follow and right as we get to the front row the music starts and the crowd is boisterous as ever.

Sadie hasn't even begun to sing yet the audience is wild with enthusiasm. For some reason I notice her shoot a pleading look to Jude, as if begging for forgiveness and with great concern. I am good at reading emotions. It's one of my abilities and right now I have a feeling that something is going to happen that is going to dissatisfy Jude.

The first song begins and Jude simply claps his hand. What is Sadie trying to tell him? The only person in the audience that her eyes fall upon is him, but he doesn't notice for some reason. I stare back at the interaction, wondering.

"She's great, isn't she?" He says in my ear. I nod with a smile, my fake smile. "Anna, is something wrong?" Oh no, he has learned to read my fake smile. I need to get a new one now. "Anna?"

"No. Just fine," I say trying to put on the best grin I can, but he knows that I don't mean it.

Before I can say anything else reassuring he moves behind me and holds my hands. He pulls them up over my hand and moves them in a swaying motion just like the rest of the crowd is. His hands are so graceful and delicate upon mine. I sigh in relief, I don't even know why. I am usually confused in Jude's presence. But that's how I like it. I want his genuine love, and affection so bad. His hands stay intertwined with mine in the air and I soon forget Sadie's warning expression. I can't see him, but I know he smiles as he sings along.

Author's Note:

**Thanks for reading. PLEASE review!! Tell me what you think. Keep reading to find out what Sadie wants to tell Jude and what's happening with Jude and Anna. Oh and where's Lucy? You'll just have to keep reading. ) REVIEW!**


	2. Hey Jude

Chapter 2: Hey Jude

**Chapter 2: Hey Jude**

_January 16, 1974 _

The song ended with a constant rhythmic guitar that faded away with the roars of the crowd. Although my hands were now by my side, Jude hadn't let go. Until this very instant, in which I wish I could pull him back towards me. Now, he stands at my side again, clapping. Sadie's expression is a little bit more alleviated, but still cautious. I realize that as the seconds go by, her facial expression is tense. She grips the microphone tightly and now all her emotions pour out in front of her. Jude's jaw clenches, I notice. But I don't say anything. She holds the microphone so tightly that I could swear it will break.

It doesn't, but she begins to sing. Jude's once booming smile is now a complete frown, portraying hurt and anger. "There's nothing you can do that can be done." Sadie sings silently the lyrics to the Beatle's song, All You Need is Love. How destructive could a song with that title be? Apparently, very destructive.

Jude walks away before I can put two words together to say to him. Sadie's voice trembles with remorse. I don't know what to do but something pulls me towards him and follows him. It is my duty to comfort my best friend even if I don't understand the motive behind it.

I see that he is purposefully trying to lose me in the crowd, but I don't pull away. To my astonishment, the most that we are separated is a foot. I stay close by, Jude doesn't even turn around to look at me. He just pushes the exit door and walks away. There is no explanation. I think to myself what possibly could have happened.

The streets are black and there isn't a person out tonight; everybody is at the concert. It is late now and all the stores are closed. The only thing moving amongst the darkness is Jude, his apprehensive figure now in erratic movements. He slows down and then picks up the pace to find himself slowing down again. I don't want to think about it but I could swear I hear him sobbing. I've never seen him like this and I never thought this would be the moment I would.

I am now literally an inch away from him and place my hand hesitantly on his back. He immediately turns around and stares at me. I can see a tear glistening on his cheek and his breath is heavy. The look on my face must be comical and utter confusion. He unexpectedly takes my hand in his and squeezes it almost as if I would fade away if he didn't.

I never fathomed what could be worse than Jude not knowing how I feel. And now I see it; Jude in pain is worse. Because his pain is my pain. I do know how cliché that sounds but it's true. I can't stand seeing him this way. Still there are no words spoken. Jude continues to stare at me and I don't dare say anything.

"I'm sorry," He whispers. I am surprised. "I'm sorry I acted like an idiot."

"Jude," I say. "You aren't acting like an idiot. You don't have to be sorry."

"But I do, Anna!" He now cups my face in his hands and I don't blink even if my eyes dry up. "I have no right to do this to you. You care about me as much as I care about you." I wish. He has no clue. But it's his turn to be sad; I am supposed to be understanding.

"Jude, you didn't do anything." I say. He sighs and moves his hands away, starting walk down the road again. He abruptly turns and groans. "What's wrong?" I finally manage to say.

"Nothing. Let's go back inside." Jude says as he comes back, placing his hand on my shoulder. But I reject him and stand as strong as I can. I shake my head in discord and he is speechless for a moment.

"No. Just tell me what's wrong." I demand.

"I can't, Anna. It's the past and it doesn't matter," He says to me.

"Dammit, Jude. Just tell me! We're supposed to be friends." I have no tolerance at this moment. I am very surprised at myself. It's like something has taken over me. But in truth these are the things I want to say to him. I just want him to tell me and let me into his heart.

"You are my best friend, Anna. You're supposed to just understand." He says. Now I'm full of guilt; he is right again. But now I don't know what to do or what to say. The only thing I can think of doing is wrapping my arms around him and holding him. He does the same and leans his head on mine, closing his eyes. "Thanks, Anna."

"Anytime," I say.

_January 17, 1974_

I know I'm supposed to pretend like nothing happened but curiosity is eating away at me. I have to know why Jude acted the way he did last night. I have no way of finding out, but Sadie seemed to know he would severely react, so she must know why he left. I contemplate over whether or not I should pay a visit to Sadie.

After we went inside back into the concert last night, he was happy-go-lucky Jude again. Filled with laughter, and tales that I was all ears for. But every moment of silence, my mind would drift back to the second song of the night and my throat would dry up as I tried to restrain myself from saying anything. I'm sure he knew what I wanted to ask but he changed the subject continuously, afraid that I would speak.

He should know me by now. He should know that I will find out sooner or later. He should know that I won't give up until I know the truth. Jude knows he's fooling himself. Could he really expect me to think nothing of his sudden outrageous outburst?

As I think about this, I realize that I need to talk to Sadie. But before I do that, I'll talk to the source directly; I'll converse with Jude. If that doesn't work, I will subside with Sadie. And I know she will tell me. We've only met once before, but I have a feeling about this. Sadie will tell me anything I want to know.

I smile confidently and pull my bag over my shoulder, heading out of my apartment, keys jiggling at my hand. I turn off the lights and off I go into the cold New York streets, in the direction of his house.

--

I knock on the door patiently waiting for him to answer it. He's always at home on Sunday's; drawing. I would assume that after a few minutes there would be an answer on the other side but there was nothing. I knocked again and before I hit the door the second time, the door flung open unleashing a gust of wind that pushes back my long curly brown hair. Behind the door is a grungy looking Jude. I am amazed at his appearance; it's rather different. Not the usual tidiness and cleanliness that he obtains. In fact, it looks like he just woke up; he rubs his eyes as I notice this.

"Oh, hey, Anna. Come on in," he motions drowsily and I step inside, closing the door behind me. I look over at the kitchen table where all his sketches are usually laid out, but the table is surprisingly clean and not a pencil or paint brush in sight. Something must be really wrong.

"Are you alright, Jude?" I say placing my bag down on the chair and removing my thick coat.

He nods. "Mhm," he mumbles quietly searching for a mug in the cabinets. "Have a seat," he advises courteously. I don't sit. I just observe him, catching every distinct detail and comparing it to the Jude from a few days ago. He has changed, that is clear to see.

"I'm going to ask you again," I state. "And this time answer truthfully. Are you alright?" I say. I can hear the hint of concern in my voice. He just smirks as if concealing something and I grow worried.

"What do you think?" He asks uncouthly. I have no idea what has gotten into him. He isn't the old Jude, my Jude. At least, I wish he was my Jude. I expect more of an answer but there is nothing but silence between us.

"What is going on?" I attempt again, knowing it is of no use.

"Nothing's going on!" He yells suddenly. I stand back a bit. His face is hideous with anger and my eyebrows rise at the sight. He sees that he raised his voice too loud and repeats himself in a whisper, "Nothing is going on."

"Then why aren't you drawing, today? Why do you look like a drunk? And why are you talking like that?" I say, speaking my mind fluidly. "This isn't you, Jude. You know, I came here to help you out because something obviously happened last night. But if you won't tell me what's going on, I can't help you! 'It's just a fool who plays it cool' " I yell at him. I can see the sorrow in his face and I want to take it all back. "I'm still your friend and you know I'll always be there for you," I say. My hand is now resting on his arm trying to turn his body so that he looks at me in the eye. He tries to move away but I refuse to let him.

"I know," He responds. I see a hint of the old Jude within him. "If you're my friend you'll just go away and just leave me alone." He says dryly.

I shake my head in disbelief. Could he really have said those words to me? "Jude, I…" I want to say that he is being ridiculous but instead I say, "You, yourself said to me friends are people who simply care about you. They won't stop buggin' you until you let them in. So let me the hell in, Jude. And then we'll start to make it better."

"Anna," he begins searching for words. There are none, and I leave.

Yes, I just walk away and leave him there by himself. I wish I hadn't, but it's too late to go back now. I'll be back later today, I can guarantee that. I couldn't possibly rest knowing that he is in such a horrible state. God Jude, just let me in.

As I perceived, that didn't work out too well. And now it is time to go to Sadie's place, where all my questions would be answered without hurtful arguments and everything that comes along with being friends with Jude. I wish I could help him and this is how I will.

**Author's Note:**

**REVIEW LIKE CRAZY! What do you think Jude isn't telling Anna? READ AND REVIEW!**


	3. All You Need is Love

January 17, 1974

**Chapter 3: All You Need is Love**

_January 17, 1974 _

She opens the door to reveal her curly dirty blonde bush of hair. Her expression was at first a smile and now it is a look of concern, like it was a day ago. I try to send her a reassuring smile, but she just pulls the door open wider in order to let me in. There are no words spoken yet and she looks me up and down, trying to figure out what to say next.

"He wouldn't tell you, huh?" Sadie says knowingly as she sits on the couch. I don't sit, I just nod. She shakes her head. "I knew he wouldn't say anything. Always trying to put on a brave face, that one," she continues.

"I thought maybe you'd tell me why. He just seems so…depressed. And so alone. He won't tell me anything. He stopped painting." I say. Her eyebrows raise when I said that he'd stopped painting. She is in a pensive state and I search for any sign that she may speak. "What can I do?" I finally ask. Now, she looks at me.

"Nothing, honey. You can't do a thing," Sadie clarifies. This isn't the answer I want to hear. I want to hear what I can do to make Jude feel better. To relieve him of all this stress that is hurting him.

"Just tell me why, then," I say.

"Alright, if you insist. Take a seat, this is a very…long story." Sadie advises.

She motions towards the chair across from her and stands up, making her way towards the kitchen. A few minutes later she emerges with two cups of coffee in her hands and hands one to me. I thank her and wait for the coffee to cool and for her to begin talking. She sips from her mug and looks around the room for a moment and I am unsure if she will tell me or not. But soon enough the tale begins.

"Jude met Max at Princeton," she began and I already had a question.

"Who's Max?"

"Shh. You'll see, be patient," Sadie says with an aggravated tone. I take a sip of the coffee and silently wait for her.

"Jude met Max at Princeton," she repeats. "They were immediately friends and did everything together. So Max invited Jude for Thanksgiving with his family. Max had a sister, you see. Her name was Lucy," She smiles as she remembers the girl by the name of Lucy. "Jude and her got along quickly. It was wonderful. They moved to New York, Lucy came along later. And then Max was drafted, the war had become a huge part of all of their lives. Mine as well. Let me tell you, honey, it was not pretty. Jojo and I were fighting, we didn't know if Max was alive, and all of a sudden everyone was so…distant." She seems to be in another place now as she stares off. Her eyes focused on a piece of furniture in the next room. "Jude really loved her. Lucy, I mean. And she loved him, too. So they had fought over some radical stuff and Jude was sent back to England for trying to save Lucy from the cops at the protest. You see, Lucy had been in one of the protests and they were taking all of them away. But anyway, Jude was deported and Lucy stayed. Max was off at war. But Jude came back, he did. And Max came back from the war, injured, but he was alive. And I remember clearly that day. The day we gave the rooftop concert. It was amazing. We sang to all of the New Yorkers. We gave them a little something called hope," Sadie puts emphasis on her last word and she continues with the rest, "Jude was missing after the police brought us down and suddenly we heard his voice and raced back up. He was singing. By that time the police were going crazy. Jude kept singing and Lucy appeared in the building next to ours." Sadie pauses for a moment and I see a tear glistening in her eye. Her voice begins to quiver but she continues. "And then they started to shoot. The police. They shot at us. They got her, right in the head." Her hand is now cushioning her face and wiping away the tears. "It was horrible. Lucy fell from the building, dead. Gone. You know, a part of Jude died that day, too. He hasn't been the same since. He was shot in the arm but he could recover from the physical pain but not the emotional stuff. He had really loved that girl, still does," Sadie says. I take it that she has ended but I have a question eager to be heard.

"But why did he storm off at the concert?" I inquire.

"The song Jude sang on the rooftop was All You Need Is Love. That was the last thing he had ever really said to her. And that was the song I sang at the concert. I didn't want to. I swear I didn't. But they made me and I feel terrible for it." She sobs. "I didn't want to sing it." She says again and I believe her.

--

_Later that evening…_

I burst through the door, surprised that it wasn't locked but relieved nonetheless. I see him sitting at the kitchen table playing with a key chain. He looks up, startled, noticing my presence. I hesitate. And now I move closer to him, wrapping my arms around his neck and holding him tightly.

My face is buried into his white short sleeve shirt. I breathe in his scent and squeeze him tighter. My curly hair must be covering his face, but I don't care enough to leave him. Jude doesn't say anything. I have no intentions of letting go.

"I should've told you," He whispers in my ear and by the sound of his voice I can tell he is about to cry.

Maybe I shouldn't have come. Maybe coming and reminding him was worse than not coming at all. I don't know what to do anymore. I feel weak yet strong when I'm with him. I'm happy yet filled with remorse when I look into those eyes of his. And I still stay, afraid that he will leave.

"Jude, I'm sorry. Truly sorry," I say, tears in my eyes. I move away in order to see any emotion his face is expressing. All I see is hurt and strangely, gratitude. I thought it unfathomable to see a smile at such an occasion but there it was engrained in his face as if no harm could mar its vibrancy and happiness. "Why are you smiling?"

"Because of you. Because I know I'll always have you," He says and laughs By his voice, you could never tell that he was still crying. "Even when I don't want you there." He adds.

We are both now standing; I notice my hands are still wrapped around him. He doesn't seem to be bothered by the proximity of our bodies. I pull him into another embrace. And after a few minuntes of silence in which he just held me in his hands he said something that made me pull away instantly: "Lucy". All it took was her name to loosen my hold and back away from the man I cared for so deeply.

"I shouldn't be here," I say. He looks at me with confusion. "I have to go."

"Anna, wait. No! I need you, Anna," He calls after me. I can't believe his words. That's what I had wanted him to say for so long; that he needed me. But I don't trust that. The meaning of his words aren't that. So I continue to run, and he doesn't come after me.


End file.
